Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours...

          Going through a separation after nine years of struggling to keep the marriage intact is one of the hardest things that I have to endure. The emotional and psychological trauma almost brought my life into chaos. During this time, moving on seems like the hardest thing for me to do and my depression continues.

It’s been a year and 2 months now since my husband and I separated. Time fly so fast, it seemed as if it only happened last week. No matter how hard I try, I feel like I’m stuck in the middle of this “moving on” drama. Part of me still can’t accept the fact that my dream of a happy family went down the drain. I still can’t understand how a man can say he loves me so much, yet he can’t accept me and everything that is important to me. And worst of all, he left me when I needed him most. Just the thought of it all pains me so much. It’s crazy how human emotions can get so mixed up, just like how the song by Def Leppard describes it, “ Can’t stop the hurt inside, when Love & Hate collides” I feel like I just want to open my chest and pull my heart out so I won’t have to feel these mix emotions anymore. It is clouding my judgment. How ironic how someone who brought me so much happiness is also the one who gave me this overwhelming pain.

           It’s really hard to accept the fact that it's over, but I have to make a choice. Its either I stay depressed and convince myself that life isn’t going to be complete without my ex, or unchain myself out of my married life that held me for so long.

          I realize that moving on is something that I need to do, and help myself get on with my life, let destiny decide my fate and explore what my new life has in-store for me.

         Here is some of the advice I followed so that I can go about this “moving on” drama. I promise its really helpful and proven effective.

1. Forgive your ex

The first step in moving on after a breakup is to let go of all the anger and bitterness you may hold toward your ex surrounding the breakup. Yes, I know, this is a lot easier said than done.

However, you need to take this step. If you continue to hold things against your ex, then it will negatively impact you emotionally (and physically) for as long as you hold onto it. For the sake of your own health and well being, forgive your ex and let go of the anger and bitterness.

2. Don't contact your ex

The next piece of advice for successfully moving on after a breakup is to; if at all possible, avoid contact with your ex. I know there may be situations where you see them on a regular basis-like at work or wherever. In those cases, just be nice and civil, but don't get too involved with what they are doing. The point of this is not to be mean to your ex, it's to help you in moving on after a breakup. You won’t be able to accomplish this if you are still heavily involved in your ex's life.

3. Fill your time with new and exciting things

          Moving on after a breakup means more than putting your past behind you; it is also looking forward to a future filled with excitement and new opportunities. It may be hard for you to view things this way, but it's true. (Explore new horizon… meet new people, make friends, go online and try ICQ :P chat your stress out , you might find nice people there, I do believe that these rare species still do exist :P … try to be active, be it in sport, leisure, or anything that spells “FUN” to you )

This is my first ever Blog post… I hope I was able to share something worth your time to readers out there..

" The worst way to love someone is to sit next to them, knowing they don't love you back. Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours."