LOVE BUGGED … Stages of Love

Hello =) 

This is Part 2 of the “Love Bugged’ topic I posted previously. Every couples a.k.a. “Lovers” normally undergo different stages in their relationship when they finally agree to share the “LOVE” they feel for each other.  I couldn’t properly express what’s in my head about this topic for fear that I might use the wrong words and I might end up jeopardizing the very essence of this blog, and that is to share something real, with information supported by facts, yet anyone can relate to.  With this in mind, I researched and found an article supported by a study about the Stages in Love Relationship.  For the reason of saving blog space, I edited and rephrased this article by Gary Brainerd because it’s too long and I wanted to be more direct to the point so I only noted the most important part. This is sort of an excerpt (or an extract)   from his original article; I hope you find this interesting.  Read on =)

Stages in Love Relationships
Gary Brainerd

The Enchantment Stage

Most love relationships start off in what is usually called the "Romantic" phase or the "Enchantment" phase. The brain secretes a special endorphin that makes the lovers feel happy, complete, alive, and very positive. When you are "in love" you literally are on drugs. The endorphins make us feel whole and complete. In the "enchantment" phase there is a lot of laughter, playfulness, affection and sexual energy.  There is a great emphasis on similarities and "sameness".  The enchantment or romantic stage is necessary, but temporary. In this stage the couple is connected and is given a taste of the potential of the relationship. The Enchantment Stage lasts on average of 6-8 months. How long the romantic stage lasts seems to depend on how much time the couple spends with each other and the amount of "baggage" the individuals bring to the relationship.  The enchantment stage will gradually evolve in the next stage -- the Power Struggle Stage.

The Power Struggle Stage

When the enchantment phase ends, endorphin wears off and is no longer secreted, the negative traits emerge with a greater impact and the relationship moves into the "Power Struggle".  This is the stage where a partner who once wanted to spend lots of time and energy in the relationship; is now quiet, pre-occupied, and unavailable.   In this phase, partner who is kind, respectful and considerate during the romantic phase becomes impatient, authoritative and unresponsive.  At this point, couples are faced with the burden of choosing the path where they want their relationship to go.

Ø  One way is for couples to Stay Together  and try to understand all the factors involved  in an intimate, committed relationships and choose to do the necessary actions to make the relationship work. (And I'm afraid it is the Road Less Traveled).  Couples who chose to stay together for a variety of reasons, ranging from religious values, family values, wanting to keep the family together, financial stressors, etc., believe that the problem is not with marriage, but with the understanding of marriage, and so they enter in to a stage that requires work and healing to create a "smart relationship" or parallel relationship that knows how to handle the Power Struggle between the partners with no clarity whether love still exist between them.

Ø  The other way is for couples to End the relationship  "do what comes naturally", and that’s to let go of the burden of maintaining the relationship.  This is where couples decide to separate. They feel the despair of the Power Struggle claiming they selected the wrong partner, and could no longer manage to keep the relationship the way they want it to.

The U-Turn Stage

Couples who select this route usually do so because they do not want either a separation or parallel relationship. They find themselves learning a lot about themselves, about their partner, about relationships.  Couples will learn and develop new skills; master processes that are designed to help them along the relationship journey, and have a clear understanding that the Power Struggle is "growth and healing; Something that  should not  be taken negatively.  In doing so, couples who undergo the process without losing the clarity of the true meaning of “Love” between the two of them will then experience the final stage, and that is “The Goal”.

The Goal

The final stage is sometimes called "Realistic Love". It is a much higher level of relationship satisfaction, but unlike the Romantic Phase, it is based on a mature, realistic love that is grounded in understanding, healing and growth.   Something every one of us dreams of, but has always been elusive.  Well, I do believe that “Real Love” does happen.   When, Where, How and with Whom is still a Blank that needs to be filled; but for now lets just hope that someday, somehow, “Real Love” will knock on our door, and when that happens, be sure to be prepared and welcome it with arms wide open =)

Here is a short film about Love Stages by WongFu Productions entitled “Strangers Again” … I can very much relate to this, and I know anyone who had previous relationship  can relate as well.  WongFu is one of my favorite YouTuber, and this is one of their works that really made me admire them more.  Enjoy!

Hope you enjoyed this one... Have fun you all =)